Joke Of The Day

A really old vampire named "Tex"
Is "out for blood" and I suspects
He's not a nice guy
If he catches your eye
It's you who will likely be necks
(Gary Hallock)

Plastic surgeon was good sculpting skin.
He improved the front jaw of a twin.
Did the same for her sis
And two more. He's in bliss
'Cause the surgeon had made a four chin.

"Try on this here coat, there’s no harm in it.”
Said doc, “Stick your right and left arm in it"
He discovered too late
That the jacket was “strait"
And they hauled him to the funny farm in it.
(Gary Hallock)

New electric car's highly adored,
But its price is one I can't afford.
It's a Japanese car
You plug in to go far,
And its name is the Honda A-cord.
(Kirk Miller)

I am not yet the biggest of fans,
Of the new cars who power their trans-
Missions, using a joule,
In place of fossil fuel;
What will happen to gasoline cans?
(Chris Gross)

In the driveway, my auto did stall.
Turned the key; it did nothing at all.
So I rang on the phone
Triple A, and was known
As the person who made a crank call.
(Kirk Miller)

They say that the truth really hurts.
When one of their pundits asserts
It's their legal right
To bear arms, I invite
Them to go out and buy sleeveless shirts!
(Jon Gearhart)

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